damn ugly midget birdie

When it is excruciatingly hot and you have to keep all windows open in order to get a whiff of cool breeze because you do not have an AC because your environmentally-friendly brain tells you not to because ACs are very damaging to the environment (and you have to put up with excruciatingly hot summer nights until you build that environmentally-friendly house of yours) and there is a damn nocturnal bird perched on a tree next to your window that starts to weep at 3am in the morning and all you want to do is to shoot that damn bird but you don’t because you do not have a damn gun and you will never have one because you are against owning guns and even if you had one, you would never shoot a bird even if it is a damn ugly midget bird.

So, like a nice person, you stumble out of bed, showering curses at the damn birdie, and make yourself a strong cup of coffee and a bowl of hot porridge with some fruit and sit yourself down at your working desk and start your to-do list of the day.