Life & Death

My friend Hannu was always true to herself and others; she never compromised what was right for her and the others, even if that meant making a tough decision or going down an ardours path. That was very unconventional especially for a Libyan woman. We Libyan women, and Libyan men as well, are trained from infanthood to feel responsible for other’s mistakes, to feel guilty for everything and nothing, to be ready to scarify our happiness for trivial reasons just to please others. The toughest thing I personally still need to deal with is the sense of guilt for everything I do; it is like drilled into my psyche. Hannu was different. She lived her life to the full and I’ve never heard her questioning any decision she had made no matter how hard it was for her. What a gem of a woman she was? What a tragic loss?

My advice to whoever reading this, never compromise what is right for you; life is too short. Never be put off by what people might say or by financial difficulties. If you are not happy with your current job, just leave; don’t be put off by fear of financial instability or hardship; If you are in unhappy relationship, just leave; your kids are better off with a happy single parent than with a miserable one. They will be fine and will grow up but you will miss out on so much, most importantly happiness. If you know where your heart is and who is your true love, go ahead and tell him/her, you may never get a chance to do so, as life is too short and death might be lurking around the corner. If you want to take up a crazy hobby or adventure, go ahead, do not let anyone put you off. Travel to an unconventional place; do some voluntary work in a different country; learn a new skill; ride your bike; do even one crazy thing: dye your hair pink or grow your hair and have dreadlocks, or have a tattoo, or paint your nails green, or wear your party dress or your expensive suit with a tie and go for a coffee with a friend. Do one nice thing for a stranger: buy a morning cup of coffee for a total stranger; give a $50 to a homeless person; flash your pretty smile at strangers for a whole morning; give a compliment to a stranger. Do one nice thing for yourself: treat yourself to that nice dress or tie or shoes; flirt with that cute girl/guy you saw; treat yourself to a nice meal in your favourite restaurant; be adventurous and try different food, like escargot or frogs’ legs. Take care of your body, take care of your brain and be gentle to yourself and others. Life is so short; you never know when you’ll be the next. One has to be ready. I am ready, are you?

Rest in peace my dear friend. You taught me so much and you will always be part of my life. Inshalla we will meet again soon.